Bashed and Bruised
Words: Ian McPherson, Thomapocles, Richard Fitzgibbon
Tune: "Love me Tender"

Hit me soft but hit me clean,
And I'll die for you.
Hit me hard and make me mean,
I'll do worse to you.
Oh the bruises that I have,
Sometimes make me cry.
How I wish I were a Knight,
Then I'd never die.

Helm shot, leg shot, cup shot too,
Yes, I'll call them all.
If you give me the right tap,
I'll be sure to fall.
Oh the bruises that I have,
Sometimes make me cry.
How I wish I were a King,
Then I'd never die.

Never call a cup shot light,
Unless you're not too bright,
For next time he'll make it right,
And you'll cry all night.
Oh the bruises that I have,
Sometimes make me cry.
How I wish I were a Duke,
Then I'd never die.