Knights, Boys, Knights
Cipriano de Alvarez

Man born of woman was a squire for to be
Born to degradation in every degree
Of sword blows and shield drills he never has his ease
He has so many masters that he don't know whom to please

Chorus:
Knights, boys, knights, It's knights we ought to be
Knights, boys, knights, By His Majesty's decree
The sword, and the shield, and the whipping boys are we
It's great to be a squire, but its knights we ought to be

Go to your knight if you want to learn to fight
He'll cave in half your helm and he'll say the shot was light
You use that blow in tourneys and you quickly gain some fame
Then your knight comes back to practice and he takes you out again

Chorus

Go to the Earl Marshall if you want your weapons checked
He'll say you're under-armored with no padding on your neck
You make a sturdy gorget out of steel wrapped up in cloth
Then the first blow breaks the buckle and you cannot get it off

Chorus

Fight in a Crown Tourney if you want to feel a fool
Get beaten in a round, if you're lucky you'll last two
You go back to the sidelines, but your lady isn't there
She's hanging on the winner and you're left just standing there

Chorus

Then you go to the Chirurgeon cause you're feeling mighty ill
The Chirurgeon looks you over and he gives you a pill
Then if you die he'll say you're out of his hands
The Chirurgeon's done his duty and he does not give a damn

Chorus

You find a comely lady and you carry all her gear
You come right back to find your knight a whispering in her ear
You try and curb your anger cause you never had a chance
Then they borrow your best sleeping bag and send you off to dance

Chorus

Go and find the Autocrat to get a place to sleep
He'll say there's no more beds, but the mud ain't very deep
You finally get to bed nestled underneath a tree
Then you wake up in the morning with a double dose of fleas

Chorus

Go tell the Kingdom Seneschal of thinking you have done
She'll tell you of the problems of her job which isn't fun
You finally do explain to her the nature of your plan
Then she says the King won't buy it and she doesn't give a damn

Chorus

The other peers I'm sure will find my tale hard to believe
I shall explain it shortly, your indulgences I plead
You say that your associates do everything we do
But I've yet to see a protege, get beaten black and blue

Chorus

The populace may wonder why we're eager to be knights
To take on peerage status and a belt that's colored white
The answer's far too easy for me even to discuss
For anyone with eyes can see they're better off than us!

Chorus