I put this list together from several songbooks, webpages and the monthly usenet faq.  Pieces may be found
in all sources and some may be found in one or two.  I did the formatting and sifting for this version.
If you have verses that are not found here please send them to me and I will add them to the list.
Credit will be supplied at the bottom of the page.

Bryan S. McDaniel/Kestrel of Wales

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Happy Birthday/Birthday Dirge
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Tune is "The Song of the Volga Boatmen"

The "uhh/ugh!" can be vocal or substituted by a banging of beermugs

Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!)
line1
line2
Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!)

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Birthdays come but once a year
Marking time as Death draws near

Black Death has just struck your town
you yourself feel quite run-down

Burn the Castle and storm the keep
Kill the Women but SAVE THE SHEEP!

Burn, then rape by firelight
Add -romance- to life tonight!

Burn, then rape by firelight
Add romance to your life tonight

Children dying everywhere
Women crying in despair

Children dying far and near
They say that cancer's caused by beer

Death and gloom and black despair
People dying everywhere

Death will come before the dawn
Now's the time to party on!

Death, destruction, and despair
People dying everywhere

Doom and gloom and dark despair
People dying everywhere!

Doom, destruction, and despair
Grief and sorrow fill the air

Doom, destruction, and despair
People dying everywhere

Famine, fear, and fire and flood
Can't keep your face out of the mud

Fear and gloom and darkness but
No one found out YOU KNOW WHAT

Gloom and doom and dark despair
People dying everywhere

Grief and sorrow fill the air,
Children dying everywhere.

Hear the women wail and weep
Kill them all but spare the sheep

I'm a leper, can't you see
Have a birthday kiss from me

Indigestion's what you get
From the enemies you 'et

It's your birthday never fear
You'll be dead this time next year

Just be glad the friends you've got
Haven't found out you-know-what!

Like the wrinkles in old lace
Time is etched upon your face.

Like the wrinkles in your lace
time is etched upon your face

Long ago your hair turned grey
now it's falling out, they say

May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake.

May the children in the street
Be your barbequeing meat

May the cities in your wake
Burn like candles on your cake...

May the women that you see
Not have sense enough to flee

May the women wail and weep
kill them all, but save the sheep

May your deeds with sheep and yaks
equal those with sword and axe

May your deeds with sword and axe
Equal those with sheep and yaks

News that fills our hearts with fear:
They've proved cancer's caused by beer,

Now another year has passed
Don't look now they're gaining fast!

Now that you're the age you are
Your demise cannot be far

Now you are the age you are
Your demise cannot be far
 
Now you've aged another year
Now you know that Death is near

Now you've lived another year
Age to you is like stale beer

Now you've lived another year,
And your death is drawing near.

Now you've reached the age you are
Your demise can not be far

Now your hairs are turning grey,
Soon they all will fall away.

Now your jail-bait days are done
Let's go out and have some fun

Pain destruction and despair
People dying everywhere

People starving on the earth,
Go ahead, eat your dessert,

Pestilence has struck your town
You yourself feel quite run-down

Plague and famine in the air,
People dying everywhere.

Raise your cup of bitter cheer,
Make the barman eat his ear

Rape the horses while they sleep,
See the women wail and weep

Rape the women while they sleep,
Kill them all but save the sheep.

See the women wail and weep.
Kill them all but save the sheep.

See the wrinkles on your face
Like the pattern of fine lace

So another year has passed
Don't look now they're gaining fast!

So far death you have bypassed
Don't look back it's gaining fast

So far Death you have bypassed
Don't look back, he's gaining fast

So you're 29 again
Don't tell lies to your good friend

So you're twenty nine again
Don't tell lies to your only friend...

So you've aged another year
Now you know that Death is near

Soon your hair will all turn grey
Then fall out (or so they say)

The Black Death has struck your town
you yourself feel quite run-down

The Black Plague has struck your town,
You yourself feel quite run down...

They stole your gold, your sword, your house
They stole your sheep, but not your spouse

They stole your sword, your gold, your house
Took your sheep but not your spouse

This one lesson you must learn
FIRST you pillage, THEN you burn

This one lesson you must learn,
FIRST you plunder, THEN you burn!

Tho you're turning 29
Age to you is like fine wine

Though you're turning 29,
Age to you is like fine wine.

Though you're turning twenty nine,
Age to you is like fine wine....

Twas bad enough your hair turned grey
But now it's falling out, they say...

Typhoid, plague and polio
Coffins lined up in a row

We brought linen, white as cloud
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud

We brought you linen white as clouds
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud...

We like children, yes we do,
baked or broiled or in a stew

Were I sitting in your shoes
I'd go out and sing the blues

When you've reached the age you are
Your demise cannot be far

When you've reached your age you know
That the mind is first to go

While you eat your birthday stew
We will loot the town for you.

While you eat your birthday stew
We will sack a town for you

You hear the pitter patter of little feet
Midget thieves have burgled your keep

You must marry very soon
baby's due the next full moon

You're a period cook, 'tis true;
Ask the beetles in the stew.

You're a period cook, its true
ask the beetles in the stew

Your daughter's face could crack a mirror
Your firstborn son is acting queer

Your friends are here, your enemies too,
We just don't know who is who....

Your servants steal, your wife's untrue
Your children plot to murder you

Your ship of fortune arrives at last
Plague death flag nailed to its mast
 

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Credits
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When I find the sources again I will list them here.  This page was put together from a file I had saved
that was made from the various sources that I had found.
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Disclaimers
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Nothing on this Web site is an official publication of the Society for Creative Anachronism, Inc. (SCA), or it member groups.  This Web site does not delineate SCA policy.  The Society for Creative Anachronism, Inc.  and its branches do not endorse the products or services of advertisers displayed on this web page.